Have you ever stepped in dog shit while gardening???

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Have you ever been out to weed your garden and step in a big pile of dog shit, and before you know it its all over the house! Even in those room you swore you did not go into!!! Yeah well that’s what my weeding frenzy brought to my attention. I did not realize how much, and how many places this would affect my life, ITS EVERY WHERE!!!! Rather funny looking at it now so good thing I have a sick sence of humor (In case you didn’t know that already).  I thought the things/people/feelings/emotions I needed to weed out were in an isolated area of my life, however upon pulling I realized some were those nasty weeds that grew like vines choking and suffocating the flowers……..they have to go!  I realized in the recent past I had been taking bad advice!!! Bad as in, I would have been better off taking dental tips from someone with no teeth (if they had teeth I would knock them out anyway at this point) , real estate advice from a homeless man (Whom I would gladly give a one way ticket to no- where). Note to self, take all opinions and views from others with a bag of salt, forget this grain stuff( or perhaps just blow the top off the sea salt shaker while filling!). Always listen to the little voice in your head, trust me, 9 out of 10 times its going to be right!!! I am a dreamer and a hopeless romantic and sometimes I would get lost in the clouds and get a cloudy view of what I wanted…… I should have stood my ground, however the bad advice blew in like a hurricane and kind of distorted my own, yup you read that right, my very own dreams. Wear ear muffs if you have too!

Who knew that tasks like, taking things out of a closet would open flood gates to your eyes, or finding yourself, alone slow dancing in the shower. Does everyone do this stuff or is this just me?  I guess I am not as “normal” as I once thought.  Is there an expiration date on memories? How come I can’t even look at a fish tank with out day dreaming, I hope that does not happen while I am scuba diving, that may end the 365 days real quick, but could be my luck.      So floating in an over abundance of underwear and shoes, the two items I binge on while being sad, I am trying to pick the items I DO need to get through the next two weeks of school. What will I really need? Will I need a shoe in every color, will I wear 25 sundress, should I bring my flat-iron, is it that humid down there? I guess the important things that need to be packed are finding it hard to get to my mind, with all the luggage I am trying to leave behind!!!

School…..I enrolled in a Maritime Academy in Fort Lauderdale Florida, for two weeks of intense training to land myself a position with a crew on a trans-atlantic  mega yacht for the year.  That will change this life of mine, no matter what happens. Being an “instant gratification gal”,this will be easy!!!  I decided on this as my “second”” choice since I missed my first “flight” to a new start. I had no clue the steps necessary to get to this point that I am at now, and how it  would have such an impact on my life and forever change me. I never thought I would be having lunch with my rents and talking about “final arrangement” and other topics like stocks/bonds/money markets/life insurance/beneficiaries/ international health insurance and off shore banking. I suggest a light lunch, I say this only because it’s a pretty heavy topic that is deceiving, seems pretty easy when you think about it, not the case when you actually talk about and do make those decisions. Moms fears of me getting attacked by pirates brought me to the realization that yes, I will be working far away with ships, helis, and tenders, a bit more dangerous than my desk. So I had to really address these topics. Of course I told them with all my grace, of course, “So help me god if you put me in the ground I will haunt you every god damn day!!! I want my ashes to be spread and not kept in a jar either!!!”.  My father with his innocent voice said “I will keep you on the mantel”. Ughhhhhh, a serious dark topic blown wide open, but had to be dealt with. I leave in 4 days and still treading water on getting all serious matters tucked away properly, a rather empty feeling as well………………

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About 365daystofindme

I am giving myself 365 days to find me, and figure out some of my life questions. I am leaving for an adventure of a life time and will blog everyday to share it with my readers. Please feel free to add your own comments or thoughts, I LOVE to laugh too!!! Thank you for taking a moment to read them, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy sharing them. Cheers!!

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