Have you ever squeezed the toothpaste too much????

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Have you ever squeezed the toothpaste too much? As I make my list of things I need, I realized toothpaste was not on my list, how could I forget the toothpaste???? Retainers….check(real sexy huh)……teeth bleaching trays…..check……toothpaste……… strange. Being obsessed with teeth and oral hygiene how could I forget it!! While I was trying to empty my “baggage” there was this sticky stuff smeared on EVERYTHING!!! I just figured it out, it was toothpaste!!! Have you ever squeezed so much out, weather or purpose or on accident, you can NEVER get it back in the tube!!!! These are words we speak, once you squeeze them out you can not take them back. Same concept, whether you squeezed on purpose, or did it on complete accident, you can not take them back, there out there in the world. (And if you find a way let me know)

If there was an Olympic sport for toothpaste squeezing I will tell you the U.S.A. would ALWAYS have the gold medal if I was on the team. I am like a child when it come to toothpaste squeezing. I find that I strategically place it where it should not be in the first place, usually on an import “pivot point”, just for more leverage, and take a run start and jump as hard as I can on it!!!  Bammmmm, I have squirted that stuff miles and……since its in a bad area, I always just blew the sides out of the tube and had side splatter. Yay!!!!!! How fantastic!!!! What a dumb ass. I would spend days after a “good squeezing”, what the hell was I thinking, what a freaking mess!!! Why did I always have to be so competitive, why did I always have to run my mouth. In the movie Beetlejuice didnt the woman get a zipper on her mouth, where can I get one?? I feel like when that voice inside my head said “shhhhhh” my brain turned it into “shhhhhhhhhhhout!!” God lord, I really hope I can clean my “baggage” of all that toothpaste, that is defiantly something I will not bring along. I guess that was a life lesson, one that only takes one test run to figure out.

I am putting my “childish toothpaste squeezing gold medal” on the shelf and leaving it there!!!! Perhaps I should look into “pump” toothpaste, it may curve my enthusiasm to get a running start and make a mess.  Yeah, that sounds safe, I will buy “pump” toothpaste when I land, I don’t want to ever squeeze the toothpaste again……………………………………….

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About 365daystofindme

I am giving myself 365 days to find me, and figure out some of my life questions. I am leaving for an adventure of a life time and will blog everyday to share it with my readers. Please feel free to add your own comments or thoughts, I LOVE to laugh too!!! Thank you for taking a moment to read them, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy sharing them. Cheers!!

2 responses »

  1. LOL the visual I got from this one is priceless!! I picture you in WWE wrestling gear, taking on the evil toothpaste!! Headlock, sleeper hold, dropping a leg!! Give it hell Kate!! 😛

  2. I always knew you were funny, but this is really great! If the sailing thing doesn’t work for you, you should write a novel…I wonder what actress would play you in the movie?????

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