Have you ever stuffed too much gum in your mouth at once?? I just got soooo frustrated I decided to challenge myself and see how many of the 60 pieces of gum in this keg I could fit in my pie hole…….. not many!!! You get a brain freeze, so make sure you slowly chew off the crispy layers, and let it cool down a bit. 16 so far and I sound like I should be approaching the pitcher’s mound, NO etiquette here!!! I figured I should fill my mouth before I let it run away on me and I squeeze the tooth paste. (A habit I thought I left behind!!!) Breath,chew, breath chew…. yup that’s better.
(18 and counting) I feel like my eyes have been shut for so long that I forgot how certain “things” look/feel/act. I am so thankful I was not born with a teleprompter stuck to my face, oh wait, that rights you can read my mind by my facial expressions. What a gift, right?? Why can’t people see my face go from “smelling a rose” to “sucking a lemon” as they approach me? I mean really?!?!? Come on!!!! Skunks spray to warn you, rattle snakes rattle, and dogs growl, am I that different? I have never mastered “the art” of sugar-coating and frosting things over, it is what it is. Can you imagine if everyone in life had this ability to “spray” or even properly read facial expressions, the world would be a better place all around. (21 and getting hard to shut my mouth) I think all people should be who they are, all the time, and stop trying to fool themselves or others around them. Maybe we can get a false advertising law put into place, why not, they have laws for everything else these days. I better look it up, …….I am now starting to activate my gag reflex after 26 pieces, there could quite possible be a law for gum abuse.
If I was in a life raft right now I would be playing with the “fake” fishing gear they supply you with. Everyone thinks it’s there to catch fish and eat, WRONG!!! It’s there to distract you and keep you busy. If you actually caught a fish and ate it, you would probably die, there is not enough water supplied in life rafts for humans to have a “normal” diet. That is why they supply you with pine chips soaked in palm oil. It’s easy for you to digest and does not require a lot of water from the body to digest. Now if you are up to date on how to “harvest” water from fish (i.e., eyes and organs) go for it, or if its raining like a bastard and you can catch and drink the rain water go for it as well. If you ever find yourself in a life raft and it starts to rain and you are the “watch master” wake everyone up to start catching water. (28 getting nauseous) I made my list of items I need to get for my “overboard” bag as well, and let me tell you I am going to buy stock in zip lock!!!! Those bags can be used for just about anything!!! And I mean really get creative people, everything!!!!
Ok, a co-worker just came to my office and I was chewing the BIGGEST wad of gum ever!!!! I had to abandon the challange, maybe I will try it again on my 1 1/2 hour commute home…………………………………………