Have you ever worked your hardest at letting yourself go??? So the hurricane is gone and now is the calm after the storm. I called the windshield company at 8am this morning to get my new windshield installed, I decided I am selling my car too. I feel like I am a hurricane, picking up speed the longer I am here in New England, finding more things to get rid of in my life. When I first thought about letting everything go it seemed pretty easy, everything seems easy in the thought process, right???!! Then I started the going through things what stays what goes and I started getting emotional………… that didn’t last long now I am on a cleaning spree!!!! Everything goes nothing stays.
Over the weekend I was able to travel out to Brimfield to a welcome home party for a horse that was at work for 45 days after the tornado. His family had lost EVERYTHING. It’s easy to say those words, lost everything, but until I was standing on a hill that was once a plush forest and now a stump ridden field I didn’t realize what EVERYTHING truly was. This family had no idea that in 45 seconds everything material they owned would be gone, I can’t even start to fathom that. I have been plotting my departure since……hummmm….well I guess since Jan of this year. I may have not know what my avenue of departure was but I knew I wanted to let go of material things and find me, the real me. I guess whether its a tornado, hurricane, a bad relationship, or just plain curiosity to see the world, it’s all kind of the same.
I am officially packed to leave, I have one bag and a back pack. My mom is so cute she just keeps saying “This is all you are brining for one year???”, well that’s all I really can bring. Trust me, I am that person who brings 15 pairs of shoes for a week-long trip, one style for every outfit, this time I am bringing one pair of heels, sneakers and flip-flops. Perhaps walking a mile in someones shoes is a good idea but what happens if I am better off barefoot? I guess we will find out. So since this hurricane came whirling through I have to wait till Thursday 7am to fly out , and in the mean time I am finding more and more junk to depart with. I am not just talking material junk either. Storms cleans the soul, and year-long voyages clean the emotional garden too as well. I have cleaned house on the people I will stay in touch with, and those I will let the time wither them away like unwatered plants. I don’t feel the need to rip them from my garden, I just know that once I depart, I will no longer have the effort to keep them nurtured and learn I was all along the one who kept these relationships alive at my cost.
Well, with this beautiful sun kissing my face and making my cheeks rosy for the day, I venture off to see what else I do not need to carry with me in the excitement of leaving. Every morning when I wake, I have no idea what this world has planned for me, and me being a planner to every min of the day, it feels pretty freeing……………………………………………..