Monthly Archives: September 2011

Have you ever carried the weight of another???


Have you ever carried the weight of another??? Just sit, relax focus on NOTHING, let your body melt into what ever surface you are sitting upon, and let your mind fly free. Do you feel like you can not, is  it caged in by small bars of emotion that are attached to others? I know we all like to “pretend” that we are strong, but how strong are those emotional chains, looped around the ankles of your mind, keeping it from flight? I bet those “invisible chains” are stronger than the gravity holding us to this earth.

I love people who sit perched upon a “silver spoon” or “cushy” place in life and swoop their heads down to give a ” birds- eye view” of what life looks like from their crows nests; or better yet, what they think life looks like through their looking-glass. It’s easy to say “I live my life and travel freely, and very happy.” but it’s really not as easy to do that.  I guess those wise old owls who stay safely feathered in their nest and criticise the world around them don’t get the big picture. Yes, they may have a great view of their surroundings, but I think those  owls forget that life is bigger then their surroundings.

Why do we let these invisible chains of bleak emotional experiences hold down our soaring minds?? Do we ever give our own minds credit for the ideas that they come up with?? Do you ever just let go and let your mind take over and let go of all the negative, beat down, emotional baggage. Can we ever stop and just chuck more and more emotional baggage out our ears? Is there a huge  emotional baggage and memory dumping ground somewhere? Like a big pit, where old love ones wonder though the mounds of tossed love notes, dead flowers and the ” token” stolen sweat shirts once loved? Does it look like the Thriller video only in vibrant colors…….where does it all go!!!!???

I guess we can not worry about that, everything gets recycled these days. I could go to the ” lost and found of memories/ AKA DUMP” to reclaim something, and I think I could see my ex’s new girlfriend fishing out my old memories and dusting them off and using them. I guess life is funny like that, I think we should only carry the weight of the things we want to and need. It’s not our jobs to carry the baggage from others that we didn’t perform, act, turn out they way they visioned. I think when people do that, we should hand that trash bag right back. Let them carry the trash and the weight, if it wasnt your fault, LET IT GO!!!

I think I will add B.Y.O.B. to my marriage contract, BRING YOUR OWN BAGS, I don’t wanna be responsible for them.  Nor do I ever want to have to carry that shit for something they thought up and it never came to life. Maybe this is something that comes with age or wisdom, but I am really liking this “live without, regrets, baggage, fear, or boundaries” rule. I think people need to give their minds, hearts and souls more credit then we give them. We get all caught up in so much red tape we  look like red burritos rolling back and forth trying to break free, only to add another imaginary layer of red tape. I think its pretty crazy if you ask me.

I guess when someone hands you a pound of could have, would have, wish I did’s, you should treat it like the airport, don’t carry other people’s bags!!! Done!!! With that being said, I was sitting here typing away and I itched my head……….thanks alot for sending me off with a clump of candy balls stuck in my hair!!! I must have looked like a chimp!!!!  I scratched and candy and crumbs fall out of my hair………I knew you threw some but really?!?!? That was like the whole damn munchkin!!!!!

Well, here I go again, back home to the sun, warm weather, palm tress and warm ocean. The only thing I will be missing is my munchkins…….. 🙂



Have you ever stuck it in the wrong hole???


Have you ever stuck it in the wrong hole??? If this happens to you, this a clear indicator you need to abort what ever task you were ” trying to perform”  and take a time out. I got up this morning, I took Erma out to do her business and then I went for a run, after my run I hit Dunks on the way back. It’s funny because the though that since I was hungry when I woke, and I didn’t eat anything, then proceeded to run followed by a large ice coffee was probably not a good idea. BINGO!!! I was running up and down the stairs on a laundry/cleaning mission from hell!!!

I was so hell-bent on getting the laundry done quickly, I stuffed all dirty laundry in the top hole. (Stackable laundry my friends) I put the detergent in the correct spot, but put the cloths in the dryer rather than the washer. This did not even cross my mind, I was busy planning my day/week/month, figuring out whom I needed to speak with today and what I could stuff in my pie hole, I was starving. I walked away and started loading the dishwasher and it dawned on me…….why dont I hear anything?!?! I looked into where the laundry was and it was dry, by now it should have been wetter than  an Otters pocket, but nope!!!

That is why I decided to sit down,  heat up the left over meatballs and drink my coffee and relax.  Yes, it may only be 9:30am, but I am starving for REAL food, none of this fruit, muffin, eggs bullshit. I feel like I am playing a game of Tetras right now, I have a ton of tasks to complete before the blocks hit the roof and a large iron curtain comes down.  I am just trying to break it all down into small easy steps, so I do not get overwhelmed. I  keep singing that song from that SNL  Dickin a Box, “step 1. cut a hole in the box, step 2. put your junk in the box……….”

I hear that since Friday, there are two new roomies in the house, Hill sent me some pretty funny texts this morning. I can only imagine what has transpired since Hill did say, “Things are strange here, they are very young, hurry up come home, xo”, I hope they are not party people and leave tornadoes of dirty plates and crumbs behind them. I have a very strict clean rule, and I defiantly to do not tolerate bugs!!! This is one of the beauties of this industry, every week and some days, you meet and live with some very interesting people.

How would you feel if you went out for the night, and came home to a stranger in your living room?? This happens all the time, and with out ANY warning!!! Lucky, for all my new,” unannounced” roomies I was suffering from ” slowed reflexes” (Wink wink), when I had stumbled across them. Ahhhhhh, I have to book my flight, I may be the person who gets to scare the shit out of the new people,  if I get a late flight home. Ok, I have to get moving this morning…….. Step 1. cut a hole in the box, step 2. put my junk in the box…………………….





Have you ever tried to out run a blister???


Have you ever tried to out run a blister???  Do not do this, it only brings more discomfort the following morning. So while I was away, and decided to get this body back into tip-top shape, I started running again. I had to make do with what I had for sneakers, they are great little pink Sperry sneakers, but they were not ment to be running sneakers. Thursday night my roomie and I did this huge run, down Las Olas and down around the beach and back, and I wore my Sperry’s……… I have two blood blisters on my baby piggy toes that could stop a buffalo in its tracks as proof. The run was great, we ran by people eating out at all the patio dining areas, little candles on the tables along the way that lit our path like a landing strip, a baby grand piano here and a trumpet player there, made up the perfect sound track to this late night run. I didn’t feel a thing, I think I was too absorbed in my surroundings and feeling the burn of my legs to just keep running. (Just keep running, this seems to be my M.O.)

I grabbed my REAL running sneakers last night and thought that since they were the ” correct” shoe I could run and maybe the blisters would “go away” naturally with the movement of my foot………..not so much. I now have two blood blisters on each toe and today I feel like I have bamboo shoots stuck through my feet. Again, last night as I ran, I saw lovers kissing in the common under the dim lights, a wedding going on inside the hotel through the windows becoming the new Mr. and Mrs., strangers becoming friends as they shared a park bench on a balmy New England evening and I like Forest Gump,  just kept running.

Do I run because I want to be fit, do I run because I am always in a rush to see everything I can around me, or do I run because it’s a strange metaphor about my life? Every time I run, why do I find that its pure romance going on around me, and I have to be blasting by like a sweaty Buzz Lightyear, am I trying to out run something that is chasing me, like my own life? Maybe I got blisters from wearing two different “mental shoes”, the ” house mouse want to be settled shoe”, and the “Dont trust anyone but yourself” shoe. I guess the answer really lies in the imbalance of my soul.

So here I am, drinking my ice coffee on the deck, looking over the boats on a beautiful Sunday morning.  Erma is laying on the floor like a little sausage link. She is so content here, there is no fighting that my dog is going to be the demise of us, there is not line in the sand of whose duty it is to take her out because she wont be apart from me, she is like a garnish on an exotic dish, just peacefully laid out in all her beauty. How the hell can something go from being a breaking point in one relationship to a happy companion in another, somethings just don’t make sence to me. I think I will follow Erma’s calmness on this one, and feel safe and loved while I am here.

Well, the 10am church bells are tolling,  and the smell of bacon from down stairs is  filling the air, like the patrons shuffling into the restaurant for morning brunch. I have to get cracking, I am making Thanksgiving dinner today, since I have no idea if I will be back before then. Cooking will be my sport today since my feet have decided to take a sick day. I am off for apple picking and cider donuts with the family and a little football this evening, all my favorite New England traditions. All my friends keep asking how long I am here for, the sad part is I really don’t know, maybe till my blisters heal and I can start running again…………………………….





Have you ever kicked your own ass???


Have you ever kicked your own ass??? This is the BEST exercise you can do!!! If you stand up, and kick you foot up toward your ass, you should be able to kick it. My roomies dad is a doctor, and she showed me how to do this exercise, and now I can not stop doing it. At first, I was kind of laughing at her, and thought I could do that, but after a few tries I did realize I could not do it as well as I thought I could.  Doing this exercise makes blood flow to your legs and butt, it also promotes flexibility.I think everyone, every morning, should get out of bed and give themselves a few swift kicks in the ass, as a reminder that you need to stay fit.  I am on this just wanting to get back in shape kick, my weight has not changed but I feel a bit on the puffy side.

Last night we walked to the gym, I defiantly took out a lot of frustration listening to my techno. I just got on that machine and ran like Forest Gump, I swear once I started I could not get enough of the feeling of muscles burning and my mind wandering.  Then we decided to  walked 5 miles to the beach and back.  When we were crossing the 17th street bridge on the way back it was going up, so Hill and I stood there kicking our own asses. It was fantastic, there is something to be said for pushing yourself beyond your physical limits in 100 degrees. I never enjoy the feeling of being soaked in my own sweat.

I stood there kicking myself watching all the boats slowly trickle through the water with all their pretty lights on, music that danced along the surface and the smell of expensive food from the restaurants along the shore. The clouds looked like they were hung for a school play along with the planes taking off from the airport. I swear they all almost seemed to be flying through the air on fishing line, like a play. The stars were out playing on their black background, and twinkling, like little lost diamonds on black satin sheets. That will be me tomorrow, flying through the air, watching my new home float by out my window, and landing on a black background in Boston, minus the diamonds………


Have you ever said do as I say not as I do???


Have you ever said do as I say not as I do??? I am about to right now!!!! Do not, I repeat DO NOT do what we did last night!!!! We are feverishly trying to remember it all, but just don’t do it!!! So far we know that, …. wait I should start with what I know for sure, Hill is having a harder time remembering. It’s truly the movie Hangover for the both of us right now.  I know that we took a cab home at 7am, that we fell asleep in the cab, and the driver wanted us to pay 56 bucks because while we were asleep he drove in circles. I do know that I told the cab driver “Go shit in a hat, here is 25 bucks, beat it buddy!!!”. Hill knows for sure, I had no problem telling people “beat it!!!!” if I didn’t want to talk to them or share my cheese/fruit plate and champagne.

I must have decided to take the cheese/fruit plate with me, since it was dumped in my purse this morning.  The good news is, I apparently ate all the whipped cream before  dumping it in there, the bad news is I ate 2 tubs of it. I have a set of fake hill billy teeth, a blue ring pop, a fortune from a cookie, a fake mustache, a few ATM slips, and a massive hangover. We are killing ourselves laughing, every few moments one of us will start laughing because we remembered a random thing that happened. I always hear the stories that Hill and her friends tell of their nights out, I was always afraid to be honest that I could never keep up. This afternoon Hill keeps saying that last night was the wildest night of her life, that’s even more scary for me.

I really wish I could share all of the night with you but I think I will keep most of it under wrap. I will share all the funny, rated G details we can remember though. One note that you should always make to your self is, know your address!!! The addresses down here are so long and confusing that I never remember them, I go by land marks.  Good thing The Booby Trap is at the corner of my street, I think everyone knows where that is, so I can always cab it to there and hoof the rest of the way. I had to call that information into play last night, also NEVER trust cab drivers they love to act lost even though the know exactly where they are.

I clearly used my cell phone A LOT, and got payback this morning for calling every half hour. All I can say about that is…… A. I missed you. B. You probably know better about the night then I, and you clearly know that there was NO hanky panky for me. and C. I CAN NOT wait to fly home for a visit. 😉  I am flipping between websites looking for flights as I write. I really miss my home, family, friends and Erma and think I should take advantage of this down time, and fly back before it gets too busy and will not be able to.

This whole adventure has really changed my life forever. I can not even put into word all the things I have learned, just about myself. I strongly suggest everyone does something like this in their life time. Things that seemed fuzzy are now clear, things that were so hard are now easy, the mountains that I though I would never be able to scale, have melted into the sunset. It’s like learning to trust your feelings and gut, its opening the doors and windows to your soul and airing out any bad or bitter feelings.  The people that I love and  want in my life are closer than ever, and the ones that I knew were “toxic” are gone for good, with no bad feelings.

Ok, I have to get back to looking at flights and deciding when I will be able to visit. I am looking forward to feeling fall, but only for a few days, I hate the cold……………………

Have you ever been back by popular demand???


Have you ever been back by popular demand??? Well……there is a first for everything, and last night/this morning was my first!!! I guess I set off to “find myself”, but I never thought I would see everyone’s everything  as well. I worked at a private estate as a bar tender at their full size outside bar over looking the infinity pool and the inner coastal. It was a picture perfect day. I went to work in my khaki shorts and white polo, this is the standard for work down here. When I arrived my uniform was waiting for me……………tiny boy shorts and a tube top!!!! Thank god I took the time to shave while I was in the shower, not only were they tiny, they were white!!! They had to cut the tag out of the shorts that’s how see through they were.

There I was, standing in the center of a bar that had 50 bar stools all the way around, and the most gorgeous  grounds I have ever been on in my life. This is probably the reason why this “adult” company paid to do their 2012 Calender shoot there. I honestly could careless about my uniform because as soon as I stepped into “my office” it was full steam ahead. I didn’t stop from 11am till 10 pm, at 10pm I was told I could go get dressed and just enjoy the party. I was soooo excited, I ran into the mansion and threw on my dress I packed. To be honest I was very surprised what happened next……… The people I had been serving all day wanted me to come back and make their drinks!!!!! There were now two other girls working the late night shift but the guests loved the way I made their drinks.  I knew what they were going to order before they even had to ask for it and there was always a fresh cocktail  MAGICALLY sitting in front of them. I lost count of the popular drinks at……. 13 bottles of Grey Goose, 4 bottles of Bom Bay Gin, 3 HUGE bottles of Jack, 27 bottles of Champagne, and 17 blenders worth of chocolate  mudslides garnished with a sugar-free chocolate heart and a HUGE strawberry.

I ended up staying and working in my black dress, and lets just say the guests thought it was just a part of all the ever-changing wardrobe changes going on. I was able to slip away and stock all 3 bars. I went to the 3rd floor to stock the bar in the “club” and I could not stop laughing. So I followed this CRAZY staircase up to the 3rd floor,(A HUGE saltwater aquarium wall ran up the side of it, perhaps this is why I DIDNT pay attention……. 1st mistake!!!!!)  this staircase has been roped off with red velvet ropes all day, this was my chance to see a few other floors of this crazy house.  After watching all the exotic salt water fish, all the way up, I was greeted by a wall of the most luxurious fabric curtains and I pushed my way inside. Now, thank god no one was in the club at the time because I was not graceful on getting inside this fabric hideout. I can only imagine what my entrance looked like from the inside.

Once I managed to get the curtains unstuck from my ponytail it was pure heaven up there!!!! I could not make it obvious that I was drooling because this house had cameras EVERYWHERE, from the garage (Only 4 car garage I have ever been in that was complete with marble floors, just to fill you in on the quality) So long story short, I did my task of restocking the bar and making sure all the bar stools were arranged correctly and picking up any empties that may have been left behind. Easy right???? I COULD NOT find the opening that I came in from to get out!!!!!!!!! I can only imagine the laugh they will get when looking over that footage!!! The thought of yelling for help did cross my mind, but I knew no one would hear me since the music was so loud and everyone was out by the pool. I must have looked like an idiot!!!! (I think I would pay a pretty penny to have that video just to laugh myself)

I finished up and managed to pry myself free from the guests/and fabric walls and called a cab. It was the most crazy 14 hours I have ever worked, but by far the best!!!! As I sat and waited for my cab I soaked in the beauty of the ultra stretch limos, Hummers, Ferraris, Porsches, Mercedes, Bentleys, Rolls Royces and one Lamborghini. It was clearly a night to remember. I know that the owners LOVED me, and I keep my fingers crossed they ask me back, or even ask me to work on their yacht. I guess when I talk to their personal assistant later today I will learn more…………………………