Have you ever had a prank call from reality??? What does a wake up call from reality sound like? Is it putting an empty sea shell up to your ear and not hearing the ocean? Putting on your favorite jeans and they no longer fit? Seeing a person in the reflection of a store front and think, “good lord, ridden hard put away wet!!!!”, then realize its yourself you see? Wondering where the hell all these white roots came from, and when the hell did coloring your hair become a monthly task? Jamming out to a great song, only to have the “twenty something” standing next to you say, “Ohhhhh, I love oldies too!”??
I guess the aging process is one giant, long, hellish whisper of a wake up call. I look in the mirror everyday to brush my teeth, wash my face or put on spackle, but I never stopped to REALLY look in the mirror. I am “that” person who brushes their teeth and leaves the house with toothpaste all around my mouth looking like Crusty the Clown and not even notice. (I have such issues with toothpaste!!) Today, I was plucking(ok, more like assaulting, do not do that!!!) away at my brows in the mirror when I actually saw myself!! SCARY after a night out with the girls, I looked like a cross between a Kiss band member and melted candle, not pretty!!!
Will I ever have those mornings where we are both trying to get ready for work, and out of the house on time, and have to share the mirror? Will I ever yell “My parents are coming for dinner tonight, don’t forget to pick up wine on the way home.”, to my husband as we pull out of the driveway and go our separate ways? I know I want too, but will it ever be in my cards? I don’t want to wake up in 10 years and still be looking like a melted candle after a night out with all the single ladies. If I am looking like a melted candle at that age it better be from being up all night with a sick husband/baby/child/ parent, and that’s the only reason.
Where will I be in ten years, what will I be doing, where will I be living? I really don’t know, you think I would have at least one of the pieces to the puzzle to start building off from, but I don’t. I guess reality gave me a prank call this morning, just to get my attention and get the gears turning on EXACTLY what I would like to do with myself after this year. I was toying around with the though of every year doing something different like, working for an international equine shipper, work on a cattle ranch in South Africa or do a harvest at a French vineyard. Just a few that popped into my head, with endless other ideas that I dream up, but I wonder if I will ever do all of them, or want to do them.
Perhaps I need to pack away those ideas, and select new adventures I have never done, like getting roots and staying in one place longer then 6 months. Maybe I will start my own company next year, consulting on trips and travel, and have a fusband that will want to join me on our adventures together. Hummm, all these new things to think about, all from a crappy mirror in a crew house, who knew……………………………