Have you ever put a price on happiness?? Is happiness a “fair trade item”, and in the end it costs the same everywhere, never at a bargain price. I guess I need to dig deeper into the earth and really define what happiness is for me. I see and meet new people everyday, some are happy, some are depressed and some are content. What is it that makes such a huge variation on all these people and their feelings? Variety is the spice of life, but what is it that makes everyone’s clock tick day in and day out, what is their true purpose and what makes them happy? I feel stupid sometimes when I listen to people talk, and hear the talk about what makes them happy, and in my mind all I can think is ” REALLY?!?!?”.
I have listened to people talk about EVERYTHING from A-Z on what makes them happy, and I kind of feel like I am out of the loop. Maybe I have been thinking happiness is one thing, and in reality it is something very different! I know for me its definitely not a material item or wealth, happiness for me is something that could NEVER be bought or sold. However I hear crazy tales of how gobs of money and items brought (or should I say bought) “happiness”…………..or are they mistaking material bliss for happiness? I also do not find happiness in becoming the “pass around peg”, and adding another victim to my rap sheet of over 400 long. (Nasty, yes but true, I now bleach EVERYTHING!!!) I don’t think being lust after by every guy in the city would ever bring me happiness, and telling people with pride would only make me ill. That must be something like sexual bliss? (No clue on that one, just freaks me out!)
I had a gentleman down here at the local watering hole tell me he was so happy the other day, why?, “I just found out she was pregnant, and it’s not mine!!!!! hahahaha”. Like I said, I think I need to dig deeper into this what makes Kate happy hole, I feel like maybe my standards are too high or perhaps I need to start lowering my price?.?.. If I lower my price on happiness, would I be cheating myself or would I be cheating the others, who think they are adding to my happiness, but they have no idea they just hit a ” Kate fire sale”???? I guess it’s a very complicated concept, a question as easy as what brings you happiness can be torn apart and ripped limb to limb by only my mind. Funny, I have a laundry list of things/shit (and a few people) that make me mad/frustrated/pissed off/ angry and of course ( You favorite and mine if you know me) blow a gasket.
I set off to find me not that long ago, and the funny thing is I think I was there the whole time, just lost under a pile of unclaimed baggage!!! I need to gain strength in my own legs to stand proud and tall again, being lost under a mound for so long beats you down. Having the sun shine upon my face is refreshing, since I feel like I have been in the dark lost for so long. This “happiness thing” is a whole new question for me to answer, I thought I knew what made me happy and what brought me happiness, but now I am second guessing myself. Is it ok to have things bring me happiness that might not bring happiness to others?? What is the going price of everyone elses happiness?? What if I can’t afford someone elses happiness?? For god sake, does Massachusetts tax you on happiness, and make you carry happiness insurance??( That is a stupid question, they must!!! )